16 Apr We Have Time

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Sylvie Griffiths is the proud mother of four, whose eclectic interests include hairdressing, horror movies, mental health, advocacy and writing. She holds a B.S. in Behavioral Healthcare and an MBA.

By Sylvie Griffiths

Living in the days when coronavirus is spreading globally isn’t my ideal topic. In part because I like to do positive and humorous writing when I’m down. Writing is my escape; clearing my head when thoughts overwhelm my brain, expressing things I would never say aloud and being my most authentic self are personally rewarding. When approaching a blog about COVID-19, I had feelings similar to when my family asked me to write my mother’s obituary for our local paper.

I’m doing well—to be clear—but I do not have all the answers. No one does. I am a parent who researches and tries to get ahead of any challenges my family will face; the uncertainty of these times weighs heavily on me occasionally.

However, there are positives that arise, even in a global crisis. These days I’m getting a great deal of enjoyment and stress relief from reading. I love reading, but rarely can find the time to do so. So, thanks to a pandemic, I have been enjoying things I am not usually allowed to enjoy on a “regular” day.

As a working, single parent of four who co-parents with two ex-husbands, I stay intensely busy. I always say it’s because I’m a Capricorn or make jokes that, “I stay busy, so I won’t go insane.” Wow, those words resonate now, huh? 

Before COVID-19, I worked three jobs and barely found time for myself around the kids, pets and responsibilities. Currently, I am not working, and I know many who have lost their jobs—some permanently and some temporarily. I can and will bounce back financially in my own way, but I’ve also started to think about all this extra time. 

I am not used to having much time not filled, scheduled, booked or allotted. 

Like others, my kids are continuing with school from home. The timeframe, as it stands now, is that virtual school will continue into summer. I have a high school senior, and his disappointment at no prom, no graduation ceremony, no parties, and no grad bash is deeply felt. 

I know families who’ve had to skip funerals of loved ones. 

I know people who are fighting for their lives already, and I know people who cannot fathom a life without social interaction, because it’s the only way they can manage their mental health. 

My point in mentioning all this is not to upset or depress anyone; my point is that we are all together in this. It’s a scary time; we are all scared. It’s an uncertain time, and we are all uncertain. But I have honestly never felt more connected to people than I do during these trying times. We’re all experiencing similar things at the same time, and, except for self–isolation, this behavior is known to generally connect people. 

So, maybe there is a silver lining in these darker times across the globe.

Being stuck at home with four kids of varied ages and attitudes, three dogs and a cat means I am never alone. I am isolated in a crowd of things I take care of. I understand now that self-care is absolutely mandatory. I also understand that I have the time. We all have the time. Life hit a big roadblock a few short weeks ago, and we can’t get around right now, so why not detour into things we just never make time for: ourselves? 

We. Have. The. Time.

I’ve been cooking a lot with my kids, and these days there’s no timeframe for most things in our household. I have the time and the ability to show my kids their favorite recipes, taking our time and going step-by-step. It occurred to me last night, when I baked chocolate chip cookies with my 10-year old son, that I felt very relaxed after we finished up. On a “regular” day, we’d be baking quickly after work or after activities and I’d be disconnected, my mind on a million things. My mind is definitely preoccupied with the CDC website these days, but last night I was able to be fully present with my little dude. 

And I think it’s because I have so much free time.

Nothing has to be rushed right now. I cannot be late, if I don’t have any appointments. I’m not dressed poorly or look different from others, if I’m at home in gym clothes. My overpriced drive-through coffee isn’t made incorrectly because I am making coffee at home. My pets think they’ve won the lottery with all of us home; I swear one of my rescue dogs has a new smile thanks to self-isolation! She had been sad every year when vacations end, and the kids resumed school, but her babies are home and with her all day now. I’m not thrilled to tell you I might have missed the new smile on “regular” days. 

Although our lives—right now—are limited in many ways; many of us are also experiencing extra time in our day-to-day lives. Use that time to take a walk. Ride a bike. Read those books you always tell people you’re starting. Finish that never-ending home project that gives you daily angst. 

Just because you can’t do things you usually do doesn’t mean enjoyable life is over; get creative. The resources that people are pulling together amaze me. Affordable or free musical instrument lessons, writing workshops through Instagram, watch parties, cooking classes and so much more is coming. 

And if you have the time to take a nap, or just be silent and still and meditate, do that first. You have the time to take care of yourself. We all have the time. 

Resources for parents who are home with children during COVID-19 pandemic

• Internet linkage: Free internet to make online learning a daily practice. Spectrum is currently offering a 60-day free trial, if you have a K-12 or college student at home. Call 844-488-8395 to register, and remember to cancel before the time period runs out to avoid a charge. Many school websites will detail linkages to these free services to support students’ virtual learning.
• Music/Theater Shows: Free Broadway shows and more for the theater lover are available. The Met is streaming encore presentations of their Live in HD series at no charge. A different performance is available daily from 7:30 p.m. until 3:30 p.m. EST the following day. Find these on Broadway HD, which is offering a week-free trial subscription, Amazon prime video and YouTube. Google your favorite venue for shows; they might offer recorded performances and links to other entertainment.
• Orchestra Concerts: Bring a symphony orchestra into your home for music class! The Seattle Symphony is offering free broadcasts on YouTube and Facebook. Many other orchestras are starting to upload videos of past performances; check out your local orchestra website for details and availability.
• P.E. Resources: Joe Wicks has adapted at-home phys ed lessons for kids during these homeschooling times. His YouTube channel, The Body Coach TV, offers daily physical exercises to keep kids happy, healthy and burn that energy off! Shape offers downloadable and printable versions of Mind and Body Calendars for Kids. These fun activity-based calendars include yoga and other ways to keep little minds and bodies occupied while at home.

For more HERStory information, check out our Facebook Page and LinkedIn Page and subscribe to our newsletter below.

We want to hear your story. Your story is my story. Help us empower other women by sharing your story.

Sylvie Griffiths is the proud mother of four, whose eclectic interests include hairdressing, horror movies, mental health, advocacy and writing. She holds a B.S. in Behavioral Healthcare and an MBA.