09 Dec The Gift of Self-Confidence

By Jessica Quaid

As we wrap up 2021, it’s safe to say this was the year of “self-love” and “self-care,” but what about self-confidence?

I know that sometimes self-confidence can be perceived as being arrogant, vain or conceited. I’m not talking about overdoing it; I simply mean having trust in your abilities, qualities and judgments, just as it’s defined.

Over the last year, I went through several life-changing events, including a divorce, which would make anyone have self-doubt, fear of judgment and even guilt. The ripple effect caused me to take a journey to find my self-worth and ultimately achieve self-confidence.

It all started with a solo trip to New York City in October 2020. Yes, I went during the COVID-19 pandemic (B.V.- Before Vaccines), but it was the best time to travel for cheap flights, hotels and all-inclusive getaways. The trip was spontaneous; I just wanted to get away from it all, as I was newly separated and looking to find myself and regain my freedom.

I’d never done anything by myself–going to the movies alone, eating at a restaurant alone and especially not traveling alone. However, this started an awakening; I highly recommend taking a solo trip at least once if you’ve never done it.

That one NYC trip kicked off a string of solo-traveling adventures over the next six months. I went from skiing in Colorado to spending New Year’s Eve in the Dominican Republic and even did a weeklong stay in Cancun. I made some of the best memories of my life, and doing it alone made me have to trust in MY abilities, qualities and judgments.

In March 2021, I went through a traumatic life event that could have been deadly. Fortunately, I am alive and well and, most importantly, happy.

That experience made me hit rock bottom. I had two options: let that situation defeat me or defeat it! I decided that the only direction I wanted to go from there was up. So, I took time to reflect on my life–changes I wanted to make, what I had the power to control and what I didn’t.

After much thought, I decided to quit my corporate job to take the time I needed to heal and ultimately bet on myself.

During my self-reflection and healing, I found my purpose in giving back–giving back time through volunteering, money through donations and fundraising and my talent for gifting.

In my previous role in Financial Planning, I was introduced to a gifting strategy called Giftology. This practice teaches you how to strategically gift, mostly in corporate settings, to help a company’s ROI. In doing so, I found my passion. Gifting came easily to me, both personally and professionally, and is something I truly enjoy. Thus, The Gift Matchmaker was born.

Taking the risk of becoming an entrepreneur, I had to believe in myself wholeheartedly. Again, this added to my self-confidence. I needed to follow my intuition and my purpose, not allowing others to deter me or make me doubt myself because of their own doubts.

Don’t get me wrong: I still have my off days and I’m not confident every moment of every day. But I’ve learned to easily overcome negative thoughts and pull myself back up to a place where I continue to trust in my abilities, qualities and judgments.

Therefore, self-confidence is the key to happiness. So, I encourage you to choose yourself and take risks so that you can achieve all the rewards life has to offer.

Here are a few tips to help you build your self-confidence:

1. Be kind to yourself. We’re quick to forgive others, look past faults, give the benefit of the doubt, but we’re hard on ourselves in so many ways. Forgive yourself for past mistakes, appreciate your body and remember what you have to offer others.
2. Use positive affirmations and show gratitude every day. This has literally changed my life! When I first started building my self-confidence, I literally wrote on post-it notes and stuck them to my bathroom mirror to remind myself daily of who I am, what I want and who I want to be.
3. Figure out what you are good at and do more of it. This may help you find your passion or purpose.
4. Stop comparing yourself to others. The ultimate no-no. We are all different and have our own blessings. Don’t worry about them; focus on what you want and where you want to be.
5. Don’t let other people’s criticism or judgment affect your decisions. Trust and believe in yourself.

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Jessica Quaid is the Founder and CEO of The Gift Matchmaker, which she launched earlier this year to provide gift consulting services for individuals and businesses, including donor stewardship. She is active in the community, including serving on multiple committees benefitting St. Joseph Children’s Hospital Foundation as well as on the Imagination Gala Committee for Glazer Children’s Museum. She is a mother of two young sons, Kobe and Atlas, and an avid fan of the Tampa Bay Buccaneers!