05 Mar The Lost Need for Silence

By Ellen Nastir

When was the last time you were alone? Really alone. No podcasts, TV or watch/exercise tracker vibrations. No cell phone, computer chirps or video game tings. No books, no articles.

Just you!

Alone.  With your thoughts. Without interruption.

We spend most of the day in contact with others; even if we work remotely, we’re still interacting with colleagues, clients or vendors.

We rush from meeting to conference call to grabbing a bite to eat while talking, listening, and planning with others or thinking about the next item on our “to do” list.

In the evenings and on weekends, we’re running from one scheduled event to the next—soccer games, dance recitals, music lessons.

I’m the first to acknowledge the foundational need for relationships, true connection and a sense of belonging. We, as human beings, want and need human interaction to thrive—even to survive.

We hear about the health benefits of meditating and clearing our mind. I understand this. While in a meditative state, when a thought comes in, acknowledge it and let it slide away while bringing your focus back to your breath. Yes, absolutely calm your nervous system, allow yourself to be present and mindful.

But what I’m referring to is different.

It’s being alone and allowing your thoughts to carry you away. We used to call it daydreaming.

Lying outside looking at the clouds rolling by and seeing shapes that looked like animals or whatever your imagination conjured up.

Rather than emptying your mind to calm your soul, what if you filled your mind with beautiful images and thoughts, snippets of poetry and snatches of song—with no purpose, with no need to accomplish something? How refreshing would that be?

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Ellen Nastir, M.Ed., PCC, BCC, CPCC, is principal of Innovative Team Solutions and certified with the International Coach Federation and Positive Psychology. She has advanced training in Organization and Relationship Systems Coaching, Tension and Change Management and Appreciation at Work. She received her coach training and certification from The Coaches Training Institute. Ellen holds a bachelor’s degree from the University of Florida, and a master’s from the University of North Florida—both in education. She is a trained PeopleMap Systems educator who focuses on the “people side” of professional performance within the corporate structure. Her expertise is in the development of employees’ people skills to complement their technical skills and abilities, thus increasing productivity and retention, communication skills, problem-solving, and conflict resolution.