04 Jun What Pride means for my family
By: Sylvie Trevena, MBA
Pride celebrations are finally underway all over the world; Happy Pride!
June was designated this month in connection to the Stonewall Riots in NYC in 1969, and the following year saw New York, San Francisco, Los Angeles, and Chicago celebrating with marches and events supporting the LGBTQ+ community. For many of us living in cities that commemorate Pride in a larger way; my local areas of Tampa and St. Petersburg here in Florida are amazing for instance, we might forget that some parts of the world are not as fortunate regarding the ability to celebrate. Many people who consider themselves part of the queer community, cannot celebrate who they are openly for safety issues, financial concerns relating to job security, and sometimes for fearing rejection from their family and friends.
As a mom of four, and as a lifelong hairdresser, the gay community has long been one I supported as an ally, as so many of the people I love consider themselves within the LGBTQ+ community. When my youngest child came out as transgender at the age of 7 years old, my family became more deeply connected to this beautiful community, but it has not always been easy for my son. In fact, I can say with no reservations that I have ended relationships, left jobs, and disengaged from people socially, over my transgender son. He has not been given the same opportunities as my other children growing up; for instance, I had to fight directly with our county and the school board to ensure he would be “allowed” to play sports. His journey and childhood have been glaringly different from his three siblings. Simply because he is who he is authentically.
Living in a state that has so many amazing Pride celebrations is ironic as so many rights and safety protections have been stripped intentionally from the LGBTQ+ community here in Florida. A scrutiny on bathroom access and sports team assignments by biological gender, have been issues that my son has had to deal with. Unlike his siblings, he is not able to be his authentic self safely in a supportive environment. And as a parent who champions being your authentic self to all her children, knowing that he has so much of a different path ahead of him is something that makes me sad, angry, and fearful alike. I am many times exhausted and cynical during my battles for his rights, but I am always supported by my people and the idea that I must be a person who always speaks up for those I love.
Pride month was the result of protesting from the LGBTQ+ community, and with new legislation and seemingly endless media focus on transgender individuals simply living their life under intense scrutiny, this month brings up a lot of emotion. For my family, June is an exciting month; my son and I usually participate in Pride celebrations locally (he has been in the Tampa Pride Parade twice), our family celebrates my younger daugters’ birthday, and Summer is here meaning no school for my kids still young enough to attend. I honestly love saying “Happy Pride” all month, and when I wore an advocacy shirt out to a coffee date with a friend this weekend, immediately a young woman stopped me and said she loved my shirt. This month is about support, celebration, and fun naturally, and even in the darkest of times, I love that this month is about our rainbow family, friends, co-workers, and neighbors.
My family was supportive of my son’s transition, and it is always worth mentioning that children seem to have less of a struggle understanding that the child born biologically female is in the incorrect physical body. Adults have questioned my sanity, skills as a parent, and said invasive things that they would not normally say to a parent of a cisgendered child. However, I try to be positive and open, and I am always ready to answer questions about my baby boy in the effort to promote understanding, compassion, and inclusion. Without some people asking me questions, they would not know about transgender individuals at times, and this can only support our communities where misinformation, discrimination, and fear spread from those in power who choose to use their voice for oppression.
Some of the LGBTQ+ community are not out; they are secretly themselves for personal reasons. As sad and angry as that situation makes me, we can support this community by showing our advocacy as loud and proud as we can because heteronormative, cisgendered folks are still holding the power in modern day society. We can attend Pride events, meet new people, and share our authentic stories without powerful voices. We can donate to charities that support the LGBTQ+ population year-round, as opposed to during Pride month because this group needs support 365 days a year not just in June. And we can support DEI measures in our religious affiliations, workplaces, and jobs because our peers deserve to have a seat at the table always.
Happy Pride from my family to yours! Stay hydrated, surround yourselves with a circle of protection and love, and continue to shine as brightly as you were made to shine.
About Sylvie: Sylvie Trevena is a professional writer with a strong focus on lgbtq+ advocacy, mental health, and inclusion for all. She has worked in nonprofit organizations since 2016 with roles that include data collection, program evaluation, blog writing, operations management, and education. She received her MBA with a nonprofit concentration from Springfield College and holds a BS from the University of South Florida in Behavioral Health. Ms. Trevena has been a free-lance columnist for Watermark Publishing Group since 2018. She is a member of PFLAG and Kiwanis of Plant City.
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