14 Jun Fathers & Sons: Lessons Learned on the Road, Vol. 3

By Elliott Potter and Jake Potter

Elliott Potter and his son Jake Potter reside in North Carolina. Their father-son relationship now extends to Jake’s 4-year-old son, Landon. After getting together for a recent trip to Florida for music and beach therapy, Elliott, 65, and Jake, 35, wrote a series of personal reflections on the paternal ties that bind.

JAKE: Finding music and making memories

Some parents turn to the kitchen to create long-lasting memories with their kids. Some pick up a ball.

I didn’t have much of a jump shot, and I probably take too many culinary cues from Top Chef. Show me the way to a music venue, large or small, and I will be ready to roll.

My father and I have a mutual love for all things music. And our journey into a deep appreciation as parent and child has brought us together, like two notes in harmony.

We always had music playing in our house growing up. My mom introduced me to Tom Petty; my grandmother passed along her reverence for George Jones and classic country. But my dad’s love of live music became a unique opportunity for both of us to grow.

I was maybe 12 when I first wanted to pick up an instrument. I didn’t know anything about playing music, much less singing. My best friend had an acoustic guitar, so naturally I figured I should play the drums in our fledgling garage band.

My drumming career was short-lived, to our neighbor’s delight. But I never forgot my parents’ encouragement.

My dad never really scratched the itch to play, but seeing live shows is a lifelong passion of his. I’ve lost count of how many concerts we’ve punched tickets for by now, but our pursuit of a good tune has taken us from North Carolina to Texas, from the Big Apple down to the Florida Keys.

Just that quality time alone is magical. Several years ago, I started to take my own craft seriously, playing the role of troubadour to whatever bars and breweries would have me. These were uncharted waters for us both. But my father would drive a couple hours one way to catch his only son sing at a hole in the wall, usually to head right back home.

It is a fragile time for live music, and the performers and venues that rely on it. More than one of my friends have been forced to rotate into a new line of work. When my dad told me about a “pandemic-proof” music festival on the Florida Panhandle—with enforced masking and social distancing—I felt that rush of excitement once more.

I know he missed concerts, too. It wouldn’t be right without both Potter boys there.

Things are looking promising again for music, no matter how big the stage. My own schedule, decimated in 2020, is poised for its biggest year of shows yet. But most exciting to me is getting to share it with family. That includes my son, Landon, who has developed his own joy for singing. Right now, his repertoire mostly consists of “Baby Shark,” but he’s slowly picking up “Bohemian Rhapsody.”

Who knows? Maybe one day I’ll be standing at the side of his stage, taking in the moment. Landon’s got a pretty good baseball arm already, too, so it could be at a ballfield.

No matter where we end up, if I get my way, Landon will look around and find me nearby. That’s how it has been with my dad, so I know how good such moments can feel.

ELLIOTT: A father-son relationship with a soundtrack

My son, Jake, and I have been to a load of sporting events together. College football games are my favorite, especially when you take the pre-game tailgates into consideration.

We are both proud graduates of the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill. The Tar Heels have fielded some decent football teams, and this season looks more promising than ever, but over the years there have been a lot of losses and some long walks from Kenan Stadium back to the car.

While I cannot say that I’ve never been disappointed by a concert performance, the walk back from a show is dependably more upbeat. Frequently, my favorite part of the trek is listening to Jake dissect the show. The boy knows his music.

I missed those good times during the pandemic, and our recent return to live music at the safety-first Moon Crush musical festival down in Florida felt like being reunited with a long, lost friend.

In a way, I guess it was a reunion. Jake and I were there together, taking it all in. It didn’t hurt that the musical artists gathered for Moon Crush were as happy to be there as we were. My favorite band, Jason Isbell and the 400 Unit, was the headliner. Making a big splash in the Florida sunshine was my trending choice, a throwback R&B husband-wife team who call themselves The War and Treaty (below, photo by Shelly Swanger Photography).

Father and son danced; we sang along; we hugged on occasion. We traded stories with the folks in the neighboring though socially distanced coves. Sometimes we just looked around us and soaked in the environment.

My favorite moments came after the big shows were over, when Jake and I ventured out into the live-music scene in the Destin area. Wherever we go, we try to fit in with the locals. And so it was on this trip. On two occasions, Jake ended up on a stage.

Some might say his musical guest appearances were by popular demand, though Jake’s recent gigs in North Carolina have advanced his gab game, so maybe he simply talked his way into the spotlight. In any case, he is happiest on stage nowadays. And I love to watch him perform.

Music continues to work wonders in my life, as it does for most of us. Lullabies put us to sleep as infants. Not long after we learn to stand, with little further instruction, we start to dance. Soon we are singing along to our favorite songs, building memory skills along the way. We use music to romance, to exercise and to transform. We select the music for our weddings; we want the right songs played at our funerals.

Whether they realize it or not, the people generally responsible for exposing us to music are our parents. Growing up, Jake could not escape the passion all around him for music of all kinds, though he made the jump from appreciation to performance mostly on his own.

A child often takes over a parent’s unrequited dreams, and so Jake has with mine. I wanted to play musical instruments and perform on stage; I just never found my way. I feel redeemed by my son’s perseverance. Every time I watch him perform or we attend a show together, I feel blessed that our love of music has proven to be an unbroken circle.

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Jake Potter works in communications for a major airport in the Research Triangle region of North Carolina, while Elliott Potter is retired from the newspaper business and now works as a freelance writer and communications consultant, based in Jacksonville.