18 Mar Embracing Resiliency: How to Stay Strong in a Challenging World
By Susie Maldonado
Change is one of the most challenging yet rewarding aspects of life. We all aspire to grow, improve, and become better versions of ourselves. But why does change feel so difficult? Why do we start strong, only to struggle, and sometimes give up along the way?
The answer lies in how our brains are wired. Our minds are not designed for success—they are designed for survival. That means they crave comfort and predictability, resisting anything that feels uncertain or uncomfortable. But real transformation requires stepping outside of that comfort zone and embracing the discomfort that comes with growth.
My Story: Fighting Through Change
I know firsthand how hard change can be. I’ve lived it. I’ve struggled with the battle between who I was and who I was meant to become. Change isn’t just about making different choices—it’s about letting go of old beliefs that no longer serve you, pushing through fear, and stepping into the version of yourself that already exists—you just haven’t met her yet.
What I didn’t realize at the time was that change follows a pattern. There are clear stages to every transformation, and once you understand them, you’ll never quit on yourself again. Let’s dive into the F.I.R.S.T. Framework, a five-step process that can guide you through any major life change.
The Five Stages of Change: The F.I.R.S.T. Framework
Every transformation follows a predictable process. Understanding these five stages will help you navigate the ups and downs of change and keep moving forward.
1. Face the Excitement Trap (Uninformed Optimism)
Every goal starts with excitement. You feel inspired, motivated, and ready to take on the world. This is because your brain floods you with dopamine when something feels new and rewarding. But what most people don’t realize is that motivation is temporary—it’s not designed to last. Once the initial excitement fades, reality sets in, and this is where the real work begins.
2. Identify Resistance Before It Wins (Informed Pessimism)
This is the stage where doubt creeps in. Suddenly, what once felt exciting now feels overwhelming. Your brain starts whispering, “What if I fail?” or “Maybe now isn’t the right time.” This is the point where most people talk themselves out of change. But recognizing that resistance is a normal part of the process can help you push through it instead of giving up.
3. Recognize the Valley of Despair (The Breaking Point)
This is where most people quit. When things get tough, our brains go into fight, flight, or freeze mode. You might mistake struggle for failure, assuming that if something is hard, it’s not meant to be. But the truth is, struggle is a sign that you’re growing. Instead of seeing this stage as a reason to give up, recognize it as a crucial turning point in your transformation.
4. Shift from Emotion to Action (Informed Optimism)
At this stage, you must stop negotiating with your feelings. Change doesn’t happen when you feel like it—it happens when you take consistent action, no matter how you feel. Progress may seem slow, but every small step adds up. The key is to build momentum by taking action, even on the days you don’t want to.
5. Transform Into the New You (Success & Fulfillment)
This is where everything changes. What once felt hard now feels effortless. Your brain rewires itself, and what used to require effort becomes second nature. You no longer have to think about doing it—you just do it. Confidence kicks in, and you realize, “This is just how I live now.” You’ve become the version of yourself that once seemed impossible.
You Don’t Have to Be Fearless—Just Determined
Many people believe they need to be fearless to change, but that’s not true. You don’t have to eliminate fear—you just have to decide that staying the same is no longer an option. Growth is uncomfortable, but so is staying stuck in a place that no longer serves you.
So, what’s your biggest takeaway from this journey? What changes have you been avoiding? Now that you understand the cycle of change, you have the power to push through resistance and become the person you were always meant to be.
Let’s live and love fearlessly!
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